Tagged: Horseshit Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

  • bowlisimo 3:49 am on October 5, 2012 Permalink
    Tags: , , Horseshit   

    Also, I think it’s a little bit stupid and insulting that Ubisoft felt it necessary to censor a bunch of Continental soldiers getting the hatchet from Connor in the “US” version of the latest AC3 trailer. Is my country really THAT sensitive? What the fuck. Sorry, I just dislike getting censored versions of anything. I’m a big boy, I can take it.

    That trailer got me excited, otherwise. Love that theme.

    @unmanneddrone Thinking back on Homeworld, the story was simple, and there really wasn’t a ton of VO was there? Just ship banter and the Relic style image cutscene w/ narration. No characters that I remember, except First Officer guy. That was smart of them now that I think of it. Big bright spaces, fleets, and Samuel Barber.

  • bowlisimo 6:00 pm on January 20, 2012 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    This was fun. Figure out what video game bullshit frustrates you the most (out of this list, anyway).

    For me, after winning in overtime versus “Plot twist being spoiled” and “Almost done sneaking through a level then getting spotted by everyone at the end”, it came down to “A glitch prevents you from progressing” VS “Having to backtrack for hours because you missed an item or key somewhere”.

    Glitch wins it. Backtracking for hours because you may have missed something BLOWS, but glitches are out of your control. I’m looking at you Dark Corners of the Earth escape sequence…

  • bowlisimo 5:39 pm on November 18, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @beige Fuck that.

    On the bright side, all of that collector’s stuff will at least eventually be made available through… other channels, on the PC version anyway.

  • bowlisimo 3:54 pm on October 30, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit, ,   

    Sorry to hear that, UMD. After you dropped the “Nexus” bomb, I started to get a little more curious, but not so much now. Seems like there are a few of those disingenuous, rotten “alpha posing as finished game because we ran out of time and money” releases every year. Yay PC gaming?

    Just thinking out loud, but I wonder how some of these less mainstream games would do were they to follow a Minecraft-like development, where players are essentially investors, instead of a more traditional route.

    Anyway, if it makes you feel any better, my friend preordered Elemental: War of Magic last year…

  • feenwager 1:49 pm on September 16, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , Horseshit   

    Put Deathspank: The Baconing in the disappointment pile. You guys know that I really enjoyed the first two installments in the series, right? Well, for some reason they decided to completely unbalance the combat this time. You’re constantly juggling being pelted by offscreen enemies with their long screen attacks, while also dealing with a wonky targeting system, and your character’s inability to heal himself. Even on the Easy difficulty, expect to die about every 5 minutes.

    They implemented co-op this time around, and my guess is that they balanced the game for it, breaking the single player game in the process. Aggravating, especially since the game is still funny, and they made some nice improvements to the quest structure.

  • bowlisimo 3:15 pm on August 18, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , Horseshit, ,   

    Unfortunately, this is true (edit: although they go overboard sensationalizing it). The From Dust PC port is rough. You’d think that game is a no-brainer for mouse control, but they apparently didn’t give a shit, and it’s awkward. Imagine, if you will, remotely controlling an Xbox stick with a mouse, that’s what it feels like. Then they only give you a really small square to move the mouse in before it will decide to scroll, so it constantly happens unintentionally, unlike an RTS where you have to hit the edge of the screen. They’ve also locked the game at 30fps (fine, whatever) and omitted any kind of graphics config. The end result is that on a 1080p monitor it looks shittier than it should and controls weird. Add to that having to log on to Uplay and a game that will crash because it is super sensitive to drivers, and you have a shitty-ass port.

    I’ll endeavor to persevere, as always, because the game is actually cool, but all they really had to do was take a look at how any modern RTS controls and emulate that. Oh well.

    Also, godspeed to @Sinfony, for he has embarked upon the X3:TC journey, let’s see how much space trading he can take.

  • bowlisimo 11:43 pm on July 22, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , Horseshit   

    So, despite the angry crowds outside my house and the old man who chased me on his bike, yelling “nanaca crash, NANACA CRASH!”, we were able to log 3 more placement scores, and we’d be into Round 1 were it not for a CERTAIN TWO PEOPLE. These two people frequent this page, but I’m a magnanimous guy, so I won’t name names.

    Will a Mr. Weenwager and a Mr. Zeige please submit their Nanaca Crash scores to the Unfair Tournament Committee at christopherjbowley (at) g m a i l . c o m? Kthx. Otherwise you might be paired up with @unmanneddrone in round 1 and you don’t want that.

    The middle finger and phrases like “bite me!” are also acceptable submissions.

  • bowlisimo 2:30 am on July 21, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , , Horseshit, ,   


    Official “What is this, I Don’t Even…”, Wait, This Has Nothing To Do With Frozen Synapse, Blame Beige, Bracket Placement Round of Death, GO!

    1. Click link –> MYSTERY GAME!
    2. Regain senses.
    3. Get longest distance you can (note: you can hit whatever that is while it’s still in the air).
    4. You’re allowed to play as long as you can stand it!
    5. Email your best distance and name to christopherjbowley (at) g m a i l . c o m
    6. You are all on the honor system!
    7. Direct all hate mail towards @bluesforbuddha

    I’ll send the bracket link + youtube details once all the scores are in.

    Good luck!

  • unmanneddrone 1:47 pm on June 3, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @angryjedi Admittedly, I’m not bothered terribly much by the Duke demo, but when I had to wait a month for Brink to unlock on Steam, despite having the physical copy, I was a little miffed. Surely having the physical copy should mean *something*.

    You really would think we’d all be free of these strange lingering teething issues in a post-geographic age.

  • feenwager 12:53 pm on March 10, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit,   

    You guys read this nonsense?



  • feenwager 7:52 pm on January 22, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    It’s early, but so far I think LBP2 is pretty cool.

    Well, it is when the servers aren’t completely clogged which even ruins the single-player experience.

  • RocGaude 11:32 pm on January 3, 2011 Permalink
    Tags: , Horseshit   

    @feenwager I guess it’s to be expected with a year of dev time. Still…camera problems in 2010 is total horseshit.

    On the flip side, sending your assassino bros & hos squad to do your dirty work for you is hot shit of the highest order.

  • zegolf 1:24 pm on December 18, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    So TellTale pulled a bait and switch on everyone and the “free” episode of Back to the Future isn’t going to be made available until February, despite a Dec. 23rd release date. I’m usually not one to complain about free stuff, but….


  • RocGaude 2:54 pm on November 23, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @zegolf Holy shit, man…I was thinking the exact same thing. Had I a Twitter account, I would’ve posted “can we as a diverse collective of gaming enthusiasts agree to refrain from sucking Half Life 2’s dick every time the discussion of ‘narrative and/or pacing in gaming’ comes up?” Seriously, it’s not worth the genital attention it’s been getting.

  • feenwager 1:28 pm on November 2, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , Horseshit   

    I ordered Black Ops on 360. I ponied up the extra $10 myself. Although, I have to say that Best Buy is about the worst place to pre-order a game, at least online. They have no bonus I can see, you pay for shipping, and they don’t guarantee release date delivery.

  • RedSwirl 11:16 pm on October 3, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit, , ,   

    Anyway, this week in the subject of horseshit – games balanced specifically for co-op to the detriment of the singleplayer.

    After you beat Metal Gear Solid Peace Walker the game actually unlocks a shitlload of extra sidequest missions along with an epilogue chapter. Most of these missions were balanced for four-player co-op, and Kojima saw fit to go “one size fits all” with the difficulty. This means missions in positions that are almost hopeless for one player to manage, and bosses that require several times more ammo than Snake can carry on his own.

    What makes this all really damning is the fact that this game’s co-op is local only. Oh yeah you can use Ad-Hoc Party, but you gotta own a PS3 for that, and at that point you might as well be just playing the game on PS3. This is an increasing problem with Japanese games, particularly handhelds like this, Dragon Quest IX and most notoriously Monster Hunter. This is also somewhat true for some of Capcom’s console games like Resident Evil 5 and Lost Planet 2.

    I get it, the Japanese lifestyle is perfect for local multiplayer on handhelds what with their on-the-move lifestyle and population density 10 times that of the United States. My problem is that most of these games would do perfectly fine in the American market with just some tiny-ass adjustments. The fighting game genre went through this same problem like four years ago.

    Circa 2006 fighting games were in serious decline in North America because arcades were dead, but in Japan they were still strong enough to support games like Virtua Fighter 5, so Japanese developers still geared them towards that market. Fast-forward to 2008, and the simple implementation of online play basically revived the entire genre over here in Street Fighter IV, King of Fighters XII, and Soul Calibur IV.

    That’s one thing that needs to happen for games like Peace Walker to work in North America. Hell, MGS Portable Ops and its expansion pack on the PSP had online versus. Konami America themselves even asked if western journalists wanted a PS3 version of Peace Walker distributed over PSN with online play. The same goes for Dragon Quest. Right now only a couple of these co-op-focused portable games actually had the foresight to include online play – Ace Combat Joint Assault and Phantasy Star Portable 2.

    That’s not all though. A game that basically only has a co-op mode to me has always felt like half a product. Yeah that probably just means I have no friends nearby and can never find friends with which to play online at the right time. I mean, that’s why I’ve only played 3 hours total of Left 4 Dead 2 since buying it at launch. Why can’t these games at the very least be like the last couple Splinter Cell games with singleplayer and co-op modes that exist independently in the same package?

    In my opinion Resident Evil 5 would’ve benefited greatly from RE2’s multiple scenario system. One singleplayer story and one co-op story I think would have made for a much more even experience. The same might go for Lost Planet 2.

    Still though, the overall package of Peace Walker is definitely still hot shit. Like I said before, the storyline is one of the least ridiculous in the Metal Gear canon. Technically speaking it’s really tangentially related to the rest of the story, only being a sequel to MGS3 in the sense of Naked Snake finally reconciling within himself what happened with The Boss. Otherwise its just its own story examining the theory of deterrence in the middle of the Cold War.


  • unmanneddrone 1:04 pm on August 25, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @mjpilon That app sounds horrible, what’s wrong with a real notebook and pen?! Still, I’d like to see just how far you could push Lucas M. Thomas before he stopped being so positive about worthless pieces of nonsense with a 500% price mark-up.

    1200 DSi Points – Incredible™ Stylus Calibration – Now you can see just where virtual meets reality! In Incredible™ Stylus Calibration, draw lines and circles to see just how accurately your DSi can render via your very own input. Choose between three colours, with Incredible™ My Colour Box® colour expansions allowing for more colours at 400 DSi points per pack. The world of Stylus Calibration just got a whole lot more fun, so what are you waiting for?

    “A box of 9mm rounds, please. Hollow-point.”
    “We’ve got a VIP customer club that gets you 10% off your next purchase, sir.”
    “Oh no, no thank you. I won’t be coming back.”

  • mjpilon 12:45 pm on August 25, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    This is simply sad: http://ds.ign.com/articles/111/1113899p1.html

    Thank you to the Giant Bombcast for making me laugh out loud re: this game last week and for making me sad this week – how the hell is an improved page count in A ELECTRONIC NOTEBOOK!!! a positive aspect to this thing? Truly truly sad for both the developer and the reviewer.

  • feenwager 12:39 pm on August 25, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @redswirl referring to anything regarding gaming as ‘the man’s way’: horseshit.

    Go outside.

  • RocGaude 4:40 pm on August 24, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit, , , , The Nerdist   

    The DLC debate should fall under the “hot shit/horseshit” segment. I can’t wait until you guys hear the new segment we’ll be introducing next episode. It’s straight off of @feenwager‘s dome so you know it’s…well, Feen shit.

    Remember folks, be sure to tag your topic ideas under the “squadcast” tag. If you don’t, it’ll get passed over.

    @mjpilon I just put it in there. Looking forward to it. Thanks to @beige for the tip on finding Future Tense. Worked like a charm.

    Speaking of podcasts, just finished listening to the latest episode of The Nerdist. I was very entertained despite some belly-achin’ about how hard “internet celebs” have to work but it’s definitely worth keeping in the queue.

  • feenwager 2:41 pm on July 15, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Interesting thought about ME3. By the time that hits, many people will have new xboxes, for any number of reasons. A solution that eliminates the need for local saves would make bioware look like geniuses and heroes at the same time.

  • RocGaude 2:31 pm on July 15, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , Horseshit,   

    Speaking of save game problems, the thing that excited me most when I read about the changes in Dragon Age 2 was that they’re planning on allowing you to use your DA:O save game file despite which platform you decide to play DA2 on. I’m assuming that BioWare will begin using the “cloud method” that’s been touched upon with the Cerberus Network. If you had synced your save game with it, maybe they’ll have the same feature with ME3?

  • zegolf 2:26 pm on July 15, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    I feel your loss, man. I, too, lost my original Shepard to a faulty hard drive. At least now you get to experience the joys of the Mass Effect 1 battle system again!


  • RedSwirl 2:25 pm on July 15, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Yeah I think we need to talk about save file apocalypses, because I’ve been through two so far.

    A few months back my 60GB PS3 died. All my old save files aren’t 100% gone per-se, but they are trapped inside a PS3 that won’t power on right now. You can’t just move the hard drive because on PS3 they are encrypted, and each PS3 has its own unique encryption.

    This happened just as I was about to reach the “good part” of Final Fantasy XIII, so now I have to do just the 25-hour tutorial, twice. Among other things like Valkyria Chronicles and some hard-won Top Spin 3* victories, I also lost the saves for countless rentals.

    Now, if I can find someone who I can pay to actually open up my PS3 and re-solder the motherboard, there is actually a chance I can get most of those save files back. Anybody know a place?

    Still, this wasn’t as bad as when my Wii corrupted my main Gamecube memory card right after I beat Resident Evil 4 on professional mode. The saves to about 40 other games went with it. All the Zeldas I’d played on Gamecube, Skies of Arcadia**, Tales of Symphonia (which I already re-played), the Viewtiful Joe games, Everything earned in Super Smash Bros. Melee, you get the idea. The only saves that I didn’t lose were for F-Zero GX and Phantasy Star Online.

    DO NOT use the white Gamecube memory card 1019 on a Wii. It will corrupt.

    *Nobody here has endured Top Spin 3 have they? It’s kinda like the Gran Turismo of tennis games. Think we should declare it shameworthy?

    **Skies of Arcadia is also on the list, but that’s a 60-hour game we’re talking about.

  • RocGaude 2:21 pm on July 15, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @feenwager During my 360 switch-out process, the only thing I cared about surviving the process was my Mass Effect saves. It’s fascinating that a save game that effects your story across multiple game titles can have that big of an effect on us. My condolences to your loss, sir.

  • feenwager 1:44 pm on July 15, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    So if you’ve seen me randomly logging in and out of XBL lately, you may have guessed that there was something going on with my profile. Last night I deleted and restored my profile to try and fix the problem. In the process I lost all of my saves. Everything.

    So now I get to start Red Dead over again, which in the grand scheme of things isn’t that huge of a deal, but I also realized that my Mass Effect 1 & 2 saves (which I’ve managed to not lose until now, even though this is my 4th 360) are gone.

    Even though my old hard drive from my old 360 is still here, it’s useless because the transfer cable doesn’t COPY the files. It MOVES them.

    Thanks, Microsoft! You suck.

  • zegolf 4:41 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Duly fixed.

  • Pete Davison 4:35 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    The correct tag is “Horseshit”, sir. 🙂

  • RocGaude 4:34 pm on July 14, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    On a side note, I’m going to be using my 360 more now based on the Squad activity there and because Last FM is simply bad ass. For shame that Sony would have such a non-existent focus on the music-playing capabilities of their otherwise bullet-proof piece of kit.

    My biggest problem with having the 360 as the main media box is the way it streams Netflix. I don’t know about you guys that have a high-end broadband connection but for me, it does this “on the fly” switch between streaming speeds and cuts off the lest second or two of whatever show we’re watching as it happens. Not cool at all. In fact, this counts as total horse shit.

  • Pete Davison 3:25 am on July 11, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit,   

    BTW, I love the idea of an official “Horseshit” segment. Since we’ve had a long hiatus, there’s nothing stopping us from shaking the format up a bit for our triumphant return.

    SquadCast: Season Two. Coming soon.

    Speaking of which, can we please make a date to do it sometime soon? I’m getting antsy. Also, at some point in the probably-not-too-distant-future I’m going to have to leave this apartment because I can’t afford it and my parents and deserted wife can’t afford to help out any more either. This means I’ll probably be without Internet for a little while, at least on the home computer.

    Don’t know where the fuck I’m going to live yet. Still no job. Interview for something next Friday. That will involve moving to a new, unfamiliar city. I don’t really want to have to do that, as it means leaving all my Social Links behind, which will be unbelievably difficult to do.

    Spoilarz for Persona 4.

    I cried like a wuss at the end of P4 when protagonist got on the train and everyone was there to see him off. The thought of having to do that for real is pretty fucking heartbreaking.

  • Pete Davison 2:02 am on July 11, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @RedSwirl: I wasn’t expecting anything much. In fact, I didn’t know much about the movie at all. I’ve only seen the original Predator once. But I was expecting something a little better than that heap of crap. I guess at some point I’ve just outgrown dumb movies. Not to put down anyone else’s enjoyment of them; I just have better things to do with my time. At least I didn’t pay to go see this one—a friend had some free tickets.

  • friedturnips 6:09 pm on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    All of my favorite action movies have at least something to say other than “explosions are awesome.” Their messages might not be incredibly deep but there’s at least something behind movies like Rambo and Total Recall. I don’t think any of that detracted from my experience with them.

    Also, in case any of you were wondering, Persona 3 is still so good. I’m not crazy for all the changes they made for the portable version, but the underlying game is still fantastic.

  • feenwager 1:18 pm on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit,   

    Listening to Weekend Confirmed and I noticed that it seems to finally be acceptable to call out Littlebigplanet for its atrocious jumping mechanic. When did the statute of limitations run out?

  • RocGaude 4:22 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    I used to despise dumb movies but I’ve grown to appreciate them from my wife. She’s all about using entertainment as a way to shut off her mind and get stupid. Fortunately for me, she indulges in cheezy, B-rate sci-fi and horror flicks not rom-coms or period pieces. For example, Lake Placid is a staple in our movie diet. Bad but easy to love…and it’s got Betty White in it.

  • bowlisimo 3:51 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    The original Predator is all you need…well, and the second one if you really need to see Danny Glover be too old for this shit and Gary Busey get sliced in half, but that’s in Alien 3 “love it or hate it” territory.

    I just wish they would stop.

  • sinfony 3:42 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Why would I watch a movie for which I need to leave my brain at the door? There are plenty of smart movies out there, even in the action genre. Life’s too short to waste time watching dumb movies.

  • RedSwirl 2:54 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @angryjedi It’s Predator dude.

    See this is why I don’t like negative feedback to straight-up action movies. Are people actually expecting Oscar-worthy acting, writing, and an actual storyline from every movie?

    When I go to watch a Jeet Li movie for instance, I really don’t give a damn what kind of storyline or characters or motivation is in there. I paid my money to see the dude flip and kick people and shit. If I get that much, then I got my money’s worth. Critic reviews of such movies should be based on that sole quality.

    In regard to Predators specifically, people tell me that it is in fact the best Predator movie since the Arnold Scharzenegger original. Consider the fact that every Predator movie since that one has pretty much been absolute shit, I mean real shit shit, like shit even compared to brainless action movies. If Predators at least contains badass explosions, people getting gruesomely decapitated and skinned, cloaking, and hard-ass “if it bleeds, we can kill it” lines, then in my book it has fulfilled its purpose.

    I’m sorry, but people need to know at which movies they should leave their brain at the door.

  • feenwager 2:15 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Welcome to the Squadcast, folks. This is a little segment we like to call “Hot Shit ot Horseshit”…

  • feenwager 1:27 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Next podcast, we need a horseshit segment. Yes, indeedy.

  • Pete Davison 1:16 am on July 10, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit, Predators   

    So the movie Predators is a strong contender for the worst thing I have ever let someone put in my eyes and ears. It’s enjoyably shit, though, at least. Treat it as an 80s action movie and you won’t be disappointed. It is absolute crap, though.

  • unmanneddrone 2:53 am on July 8, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: , Contextual Gaming, Horseshit   

    @angryjedi My computer seems to crap itself inexplicably…or, alternatively, as per usual…so no Beat Hazard for me, despite trying! I shall utilise Feen’s poetic tag to indicate my outrage and despair, but reinforce the continued prison romance I endure with this dodgy old dominator.

    On another note, Eurogamer has a fantastic little rundown of Brink. Some tasty morsels about the SMART movement system, but it’s just nice to read about little details.

    “…That’s clever anyway, and everyone – rather than just inexperienced players – should enjoy the impact SMART has on the way they play. However, it also has depths to explore. At one point I’m running along holding SMART and I drop into a slide so I’m harder to target, but in this position I can also fire in another direction without losing my original momentum – and all I need to worry about is pointing and shooting.”


    Of course, the boldest move in the genre has been Mirror’s Edge or maybe Zeno Clash – putting a premium on interaction sans rifle – but if they can pull off this kind of parkour 2.0 in Brink, perhaps there might be an added layer of artistry rather than the usual frat-house fist-pump cringe that the genre has fostered. Let’s hope Splash Damage puts in a race mode!

    Here’s a question, one that came out of a discussion with a very learned friend on the topic of World War 2 and how he was offended at Battlefield Heroes’ cartoonified aesthetic being somewhat of a stylistic disservice to the horror of the conflict and its massive human toll. I happened to mention that the enjoyment he receives from Hearts of Iron, while far more historically accurate, takes what is usually localised combat in a first-person shooter into a continent-wide, admittedly abstracted conquest of territory and all the trappings of misery you could read into that. It was met with a wry smile and a response something along the lines of a Stalin paraphrase “One is murder, one million is a statistic.” His argument was that Hearts of Iron offers a control seat unparalleled; one of moving the direction of a nation, rather than a reticule. It is a living, breathing history simulator that deals with statecraft and one that does not trivialise war or geo-politics down to spree counters and endgame scores.

    Should we as gamers be compelled or discouraged to contextualise the games we play when it comes to those that simulate or utilise history or conflict in any way? Is it a case-by-case basis or should we simply play for mechanics and the meta in a vacuum? Is this too much in the way of being politically-correct or self-flagellating over the ills of history?

  • Pete Davison 11:00 pm on July 7, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    @feenwager: Nice tagging. You have this web 2.0 shit down pat.

  • feenwager 9:38 pm on July 7, 2010 Permalink
    Tags: Horseshit   

    Can I say that it is utter horseshit that Monkey Island 2 is $9.99 on the iPad and $7.99 on the iPhone. The iPad version offers nothing, absolutely nothing different. I simply get to play it on a bigger screen.

    Again, horseshit. And I’m a moron for buying it and supporting this horseshit.

Compose new post
Next post/Next comment
Previous post/Previous comment
Show/Hide comments
Go to top
Go to login
Show/Hide help
shift + esc